Ironclad Attraction
by AgentFiyeroSummers
Summary: Tony is confused, he's never been to the zoo before, does every zoo have a perfect Adonis tussling with the tigers? Or at least whoever the Norse equivalent of Adonis is. Join Tony as he and his Norse God rain hell upon SHIELD. Tony/OMC Slash.
1. Chapter 1

_**I don't own Avengers, I only own my OCs**_

_**Slash. Language. Violence.**_

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_**Lance Anderson; Zoologist.**_

Lance rolled out of bed with a groan.

He looked around and pulled on a pair of boxers before stumbling through his apartment.

He pulled the door open and stumbled back to avoid the fist that tried to knock on his head.

"Mrs. Carter?" Lance asked as he spotted his landlady standing at the door.

She scowled at him "How many times to I need to tell you to call me Elise?" she asked in mock anger before huffing "Any way, I'm going to be away for a bit this week, Vicky is sick and needs help looking after Max, I just wanted you to know".

Lance nodded slowly, too sleepy to understand what she was saying.

Elise smiled at him again before turning and climbing down the stairs to her flat on the main floor.

Vicky, Elise's daughter. Max, her grandson. Wait.

Lance shot back into his apartment fully awake heading straight for his office.

He grabbed a small box from a shelf and sprinted out of his apartment and down the stairs.

He ran out into the street and got to the cab Elise was entering.

His chest heaved as he shoved the small box at her "It's for Max" he explained "Tell him it's a gift from Zeus".

Elise smiled again and took it "Thank you" she said happily before she looked him up and down "Also I suggest you put some clothes on" she added smirking slightly.

Confused Lance looked down and realised he was only wearing a pair of tight short boxers.

Blushing he covered himself with his hands and nodded "I'll try remember that for next time" he muttered "Give Vicky my love" he added before turning and quickly walking back into the row-house trying to ignore the appraising eyes people were sending him.

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Lance walked into the locker room with a relieved sigh.

"Jade still giving you a hard time?" a voice asked.

Lance looked over and saw his co-worker Stephan putting on a shirt.

He nodded "She's so stubborn" he exclaimed as he got to his locker.

He heard Stephan chuckle as he started pulling off his clothes "She's my sister" Stephan reminded him.

Lance pulled on his work pants and glared at him "Then I shall make you suffer until she stops" he threatened making Stephan laugh.

"What are you going to do? Sic Zeus on me? Moult on my furniture?" Stephan teased.

Lance shrugged "Zeus would do it if I asked him too" he pointed out.

Stephan eyed him for a moment as he buttoned his pants "Dammit" he said exhaling loudly "The bastard would too".

Lance smirked at him as he pulled his shirt out of his locker "Between the two of us they would never find your body" he agreed.

Stephan grimaced "You love me too much" he denied.

Lance shrugged again "You're a good shag, I'll give you that" he said smiling smugly.

Stephan grinned proudly "Oh I know" he said in agreement "It's a shame we didn't fit, the sex was amazing".

Lance couldn't help but grin back as he finished buttoning up his shirt "I would have killed you if we had stayed together for much longer. Besides Chris is a good guy" he admitted.

Stephan's face glazed over making Lance chuckle and slam his locker shut making Stephan jump.

"Just marry him and have his babies" Lance ordered "If I have to put up with you getting all dreamy on me again I'll send you to him in an ambulance".

Stephan glared at him making him laugh as he clipped on his pouch and left the room.

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"No" Lance said sternly "Put me down".

Lance pulled away from Thor's chest and glared at him "Now".

The blonde ape pouted and put him back down.

Lance cracked his back as he watched Thor sulking.

"Hugs are okay" Lance allowed, quickly raising his hands as Thor moved towards him again "But no picking me up alright?"

Thor thought for a moment and huffed before sweeping Lance into a bone-crushing hug.

Lance wrapped his arms around the ape back and squeezed "I missed you too" he said "I'm never going on vacation again" he promised making the surrounding apes grin at him.

When Thor stepped back Lance turned to the other apes spreading his arms "Who's next?" he asked them fondly.

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Lance unlocked the door quietly, slipping inside as quietly as he could manage.

Locking the door behind him he stole forward, toeing off his boots and socks as he snuck toward the cave entrance.

He peered out spotting his target lounging on a heated rock lazily.

Ignoring the looks on the faces of the people watching he silently padded forward.

He shifted his weight, spreading his legs slightly as he tensed.

Letting out a war cry he pounced.

Never before that day had he ever heard a tiger squeal.

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_**Tony Stark; Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist.**_

"AGENT!" Tony whined as he was dragged towards the zoo.

"Did you hear something Bruce?" Agent Coulson asked his friend as they headed to the ticket booth.

Bruce smirked "This must be an exotic zoo, I swear I just heard a Man-Whore" he commented.

"OI!" Tony yelled as he overheard Bruce "I resent that comment!"

"Whatever Tony" Bruce called over his shoulder "And I'll take it back if you just enjoy a trip to the zoo".

Tony pouted as he looked to Steve and Clint on either side of him gripping his arms "You're not going to let me go are you?" he asked sadly.

Steve smirked at him "Sorry Tony, Avengers bonding day. You let Thor chose today's activity, and he chose the zoo".

Tony sighed before a thought hit him "You know what, I've never been to a zoo before" he exclaimed making the two men guarding him look at him in shock.

Tony darted forward breaking out of their hold and ran past Phil and Bruce to get to the ticket booth.

He bounced excitedly as the woman behind the counter looked at him with concern "I'll take seven tickets please" he ordered.

The woman's eyes darted to Phil as he reached Tony's side "Is that seven adults Sir?" she asked.

Phil shook his head "Six adults and one man-child" he corrected gesturing to Tony during the last part.

Tony pouted then snarled as Phil pulled his wallet out.

He snatched the wallet from his hands and threw it over his shoulder "I've got this Agent" he said smugly pulling his own wallet out and paying for the tickets.

He pouted again as he heard Phil order Steve to keep an eye on him.

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"Is it just me or does that ape look like Thor?" Steve asked him quietly.

Tony looked between the blonde ape in the exhibit and the blonde demi-god getting cotton candy.

"I'll be dammed" Tony exclaimed in shock "They could be twins!"

Clint sniggered then pointed to the plaque on the exhibit fence "It IS Thor" he corrected.

Tony barked out a laugh as he saw a list of the names of the apes, which 'Thor' being listed as the only blonde one.

He barely cast Natasha a glance as she ran over and dragged Clint off saying something about amazing tigers, knowing the two of them it was probably some kind of sex talk.

Steve chuckled "That's Thor alright" he said making Tony look over at the Ape-Thor again.

He snorted as he saw Ape-Thor hitting himself in the head with a makeshift hammer.

"Like I said, twins" Tony reminded him.

Steve nodded while Tony looked over at the exhibit Natasha had dragged Clint over to.

What he saw made him choke on air and start coffee.

"Are you alright Tony?" Steve asked cautiously.

Tony shook his head rapidly "I'm going insane" he muttered.

Steve frowned "Too late" he pointed out "And why?" he asked confused.

Tony stared at him before pointing at the exhibit opposite the Ape.

"That man is playing Pat-a-Cake with a tiger".

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**No, Lance's affinity with animals isn't natural. How he can speak and interact with them will be explained later.**


	2. Chapter 2

_**I don't own Avengers, I only own my OCs**_

_**Slash. Language. Violence.**_

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_**Lance Anderson; Zoologist.**_

"Oh don't be such a sore loser!" Lance exclaimed as Zeus turned his back on him.

Zeus huffed at him.

Lance glared at the tiger "Now you're just being a douchebag" he accused.

Zeus shot him a smug look over his shoulder.

Lance rolled his eyes "So what? I'm still looking for the right one" he defended.

Zeus rolled onto his back snarling at him.

Lance scoffed "Rubbish" he snapped making the tiger roll back onto his stomach and glare at him.

"No!" Lance exclaimed "I can't do that! That's completely immoral!" he paused tilting his head in thought "And doing that is probably going to make them think I'm crazy" he added with a nod.

Zeus yawned at him making Lance yawn back.

"Stop that" he ordered absentmindedly "And you don't get to laugh at me, you're a tiger! I can be happily single if I want to be" he declared crossing his arms and looking away.

Lance leapt to his feet from where he had been sitting cross-legged on the rock when Zeus snorted "See! This is why Hera dumped you, you're mean" he said pouting "Just because you have a girlfriend and I don't is no reason for you to be cruel!"

Zeus stood stretching.

Lance narrowed his eyes at him "Don't make me eat you" he threatened.

Zeus growled at him.

Lance growled back "You are forgetting an important thing here Zeus" he smirked and leaned forward "I feed you" he said in a stage whisper.

Zeus snarled at him and jumped at him knocking him over.

Lance laughed as Zeus purred and nuzzled him happily.

"I missed you too love" Lance said in between chuckles.

"No! Don't worry! Zeus isn't hurting him!" a man shouted.

Lance looked over to where Aaron, the Head Keeper for the Tigers was trying to calm people down outside the exhibit.

Lance started to pat Zeus, chuckling as the tiger melted under his hands.

"See?" Aaron shouted "Keeper Anderson would be the last person any of the tigers would hurt. He recently spent 3 months abroad working with the tigers at London Zoo; this is why Zeus is acting like this, they missed each other".

Lance turned his head as the crowd let out an 'Aww' and spotted people taking pictures of them.

"Humans are crazy aren't they" he whispered to Zeus who just purred louder in reply as he lay across Lance's torso.

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_**Tony Stark; Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist.**_

Tony stared as he watched the tiger shun the man.

He barely listened as the man argued with the tiger, he was too busy staring at the man.

Black hair sprung from his head, lying everyway that wasn't flat. It hung over his eyes slightly and Tony watched as he brushed it away from his face absently.

Tony decided the man must had gotten the shirt size below his actual size as the tight shirt he was wearing was stretched over his muscles as he moved. Tony licked his suddenly dry lips as a glimpse of tanned stomach peered at him as his shift lifted.

He froze as the tiger began growling at the Adonis, who merely growled back.

He gasped and darted forward as the tiger leapt at him knocking him to the ground.

His eyes darted between the man and the fence around the enclosure, trying to find a way around it.

"No! Don't worry! Zeus isn't hurting him!" a man called from beside Tony.

He whirled around to see a man trying to calm everyone and watch what was happening in the exhibit as well.

Tony's jaw dropped as he watched the gorgeous man simply raise his hands and start patting the tiger who looked like he was ready to turn him into a chew toy.

The tiger collapsed onto him as the new man started talking again "See? Keeper Anderson would be the last person any of the tigers would hurt. He recently spent 3 months abroad working with the tigers at London Zoo; this is why Zeus is acting like this, they missed each other".

Keeper Anderson.

Tony watched as Anderson continued patting the writhing tiger. As the crowd quietened the sound of the tiger's purring became clear as it rubbed all other Anderson.

Anderson suddenly looked other as some of the crowd let out an 'Aww'.

Tony's breath hitched as unnaturally blue eyes met his hazel ones.

He whimpered slightly as the blue eyes didn't even pause as they flickered over the rest of the crowd.

Tony reached into his pocket and brought out his phone and snapped a few pictures of the two.

"Christ" he heard Natasha's voice "That was unsettling".

Normally Tony would make a smart arse comment but he was still watching Anderson hoping he would look back up.

"What do you mean Tasha?" Steve's voice asked.

Tony's eyes darted over in time to see Natasha shiver "He was talking to the tiger" she explained "And it was reacting to his voice properly, he was playing games with it and it knew what to do".

Tony's brain darted over the possibilities, only to shut down as he looked back at Anderson to find that the man was watching him. Tony felt a blush cross his face as he stared into hazel eyes.

Tony blinked, he was sure Anderson's eyes had been an amazing blue colour.

"Tony?" Steve's voice asked slowly.

Tony blinked and sagged slightly as Anderson's eyes dropped back to the tiger before he grinned and muttered something.

Tony shook his head to clear his mind as he turned to Steve.

"Tony, we should go now" Steve said slowly, as he glanced over his shoulder to see Phil talking on the phone rapidly to someone "Fury has something for us".

Tony sighed before nodding, he needed time to get over the surge of attraction he was feeling for Anderson.

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Tony's head bobbed in time to the music as he looked around the crowed club.

He forced his way over to the bar and signalled the bartender for a drink.

He looked around again trying to spot the reason he was even there.

Tony felt slightly guilty that he had ordered JARVIS to spy on Anderson, as his eyes locked onto Anderson all the guilt evaporated.

He felt his breath hitch as his eyes watched Anderson dance wildly, he mentally agreed with his previous statement of 'Sex on legs', the way Anderson was moving should be outlawed.

As the song ended Anderson made his way over to the bar and settled onto the stool next to Tony, who was staring quite unashamedly.

"Can I help you?" Anderson yell at him over the music snapping him from his thoughts.

Tony gasped as he took in Anderson from up close.

His hair was even more messed up, his chest heaving. His tanned muscled arms glistening with a light layer of sweat, making his sleeveless shirt cling to his body.

Tony felt arousal burst through his body as they locked eyes, Anderson's eyes were wild, his pupils blown wide with something Tony couldn't recognise.

"You look crazy" Tony blurted before blushing as he realised what he had said.

Anderson smirked "It's the dancing" he admitted "It does drive me wild".

Tony nodded "It's pretty hot" he blurted out again his hands coming up to cover his mouth "Sorry, I'm not usually this forward" he apologized.

Anderson just laughed "As long as you're not writing a check you can't cash I don't care" he said smugly, his eyes roaming over Tony's body obviously.

Tony's eyes widened as he realised Anderson was interested in him.

"I'm Tony Stark, there isn't much I can't cash" he bragged, trying to see how Anderson would react.

He wasn't expecting the look of indifference to flash across Anderson's face "That's that weapon's company right?" he asked.

Tony gaped at him "We haven't made weapons in years" he corrected "We make tech now. Phones, computers, toasters".

"Toasters" Anderson repeated blinking.

Tony shrugged "I was drunk" he admitted.

Anderson laughed "Well then, hello Tony, I'm Lance" he introduced offering his hand.

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	3. Chapter 3

_**I don't own Avengers, I only own my OCs**_

_**Slash. Language. Violence.**_

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_**Tony Stark; Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist.**_

The first thing Tony felt when he woke up was his throbbing headache.

The second was the dull aching along his back.

The third thing he felt confused him.

Tony would have assumed that he would notice the man lying splayed across him before he noticed anything else.

He shifted uncomfortably as the man mumbled in his sleep into Tony's neck.

Tony felt the man stirring on top of him.

"Morning" Tony heard the man mutter before he pressed a kiss against his neck "You have time for another round or do you need to be somewhere?"

"I" Tony began to tell his excuse to get away when the man lifted his head and rolled off of Tony.

"Lance?" Tony blurted out shocked by finding the man in bed with him.

Lance looked at him confused before realisation flickered across his face "It's alright if you forgot my name" he said "Not everyone can remember everything the next day".

Tony stared at Lance in shock for a moment "I thought that was a dream" he muttered making Lance grin at him.

"A good one I hope" he said making Tony nod rapidly.

"A little wet" Tony admitted "But if it really happened that makes sense".

Lance grinned at him "I never knew I had a thing for showers" he said casually.

He couldn't resist grinning back at Lance as he felt his dick twitch.

"Maybe we should explore this thing of yours" Tony suggested his eyes roaming over Lance's perfect torso.

He saw a light appear in Lance's eyes as the pupils widened in lust.

"Lets" Lance agreed with a purr that made Tony shiver.

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"Tony!" Pepper yelled as he hobbled into the kitchen "Where were you last night?"

Tony blinked at her "You're no longer my girlfriend" he pointed out as he headed for the coffee machine "You don't get to ask me those questions".

Pepper stared at him as he walked past her "While I'm glad you going out to have fun" she said slowly "I would have appreciated a message telling me you were coming back".

Tony sighed "JARVIS? What were my last words to you last night?" he asked.

"I believe they were 'I'm gonna get me some ass' Sir" JARVIS said.

Pepper glared at Tony while Tony frowned "And my words before that?" he asked.

"They were 'Tell Pepper than I'm going Tiger hunting' Sir" JARVIS replied.

Tony nodded to Pepper proudly "And I got both a Tiger and some ass last night. My mission is complete" he said.

"You were on a mission last night?" Steve asked as he entered the room slowly.

Pepper glared at Tony "I thought you meant actual Tigers!" Pepper yelled making Steve looked between them in confusion.

"I understand your concern Pepper" Tony said coldly "But you didn't care about my habits before we were dating, and you most certainly have no right to after you dumped me".

"I am your CEO" Pepper said only to be cut off by Tony "My CEO, not my nanny, not my girlfriend. You work for me, not the other way around".

"Uh guys" Steve asked slowly making them both turn to glare at him "Can one of you explain why Tony is talking about getting a Tiger's ass last night?" he asked hopefully.

Tony nodded "I went to a club last night where I ran into that Keeper Anderson from the Zoo on team-bonding day. We talked and went back to his place for the night" he explained before turning to glare at Pepper again "Happy Mom?" he asked sarcastically.

"Oh" Steve said loudly "Tiger ass. I get it now".

Tony nodded "To be more specific I got assed by a Tiger. But hey, you probably don't want to know that" he said as he turned back to the coffee machine to grab his coffee.

"I was fine without that" Steve said his voice betraying his awkwardness.

"So can I go now?" He turned to ask Pepper.

Pepper sighed at him "Alright Tony, you can go" she said waving her hand at the door.

Tony huffed at her before strutting to the door, ignoring how his strut was ruined by his slight limp.

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_**Lance Anderson; Zoologist.**_

"Stop looking at me like that Thor" Lance said grumpily "I'm a consenting adult, I'm allowed to make decisions like that".

"I was not meaning to look at you in such a manner" A booming voice said from the other side of the fence.

Lance turned around looking at the tall blonde man standing on the path looking at him.

He blinked at him then looked back at the blonde Ape he had been talking to.

"I was actually talking to Thor" Lance said pointing to the Ape.

The blonde man blinked at him "That primate is not Thor, I am" he corrected Lance.

Lance blushed "Actually I named Thor after he was born, long before you came to Earth again" he admitted.

Thor fixed him with a strange look.

"I was not aware that you held the future sight" he said curiously "Did it develop after you came to this place?"

Lance's blush vanished as he paled looking around "I would appreciate it if you didn't speak of such matters here. Not many people here know" he said nervously.

Thor blinked at him "My apologies. I was not aware" he said loudly.

Lance approached the fence "And I don't have the future sight" he corrected "It was just a coincidence that you would both be here at the same time".

Thor chuckled deeply "There is no such thing oh Lord of Animals" he replied.

Lance hissed as he looked around again "Not so loud" he snapped "No one is aware".

Thor blinked at him again before inclining his head again in apology "Once more I must apologize for my misspoken words".

Lance shrugged "You meant no harm by it" he dismissed knowing that Thor wouldn't be able to help himself.

Lance sighed as he rested his forehead against the fence as he watched Thor carefully.

"You look good" Thor said softly "Midgard has done well by you".

Lance offered Thor a small smile "It has" he admitted "But it's not home".

Thor smiled sadly "That is true, nothing matches the wonders of home" he said sagely.

"How's Odin?" Lance asked him.

Thor offered him a small smile "The All-Father is tired".

Lance winced "Isn't he always? And Mother?" he asked.

Thor smiled "She continues to fight Father on his decision" he said cheerfully.

"That will not help" Lance muttered as he leaned against the fence.

Thor's grin grew "She has fought even more strongly recently" he said happily "Perhaps she knows something" he said hopefully.

Lance gave a tired sigh "Mayhaps" he said slowly "How's Loki?" he asked concerned "The news only said he was being taken back to face Asgardian justice?"

Thor looked sad "Loki is being punished, and I'm afraid that at times Thanos' corruption of his mind has damaged his mind beyond repair" he admitted.

Lance winced "And Loki was always a little unstable" he said sadly making Thor nod morbidly.

Thor's phone went off and he pulled it from his pocket and checked the screen.

Lance just smiled at him and nodded when Thor looked up at him "It's okay" he said before Thor could speak "Go save the world".

Thor grinned at him "We must meet again sometime" he exclaimed.

Lance gave him a sad smile "Of course" he agreed "I await your call".

Thor nodded at him before raising his hand pulling Mjolnir from the void.

"It has been too long" he said in farewell before swinging the powerful hammer and flying off into the sky.

Lance sighed as he stood there staring at nothing.

"Indeed it has Brother" he said in agreement "Indeed it had".

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**Okay, so there is no Norse God of Animals. So I made one up. Get over it.**


	4. Chapter 4

_**I don't own Avengers, I only own my OC and any myths I make up involving him.**_

_**Slash. Language. Violence.**_

_**Guest: I hope you didn't know it. I obviously need more practice at being sneaky with my plot twists.**_

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_**Tony Stark; Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist.**_

"Son of Coul!" Thor's voice boomed through the room making Tony jump and stare at Thor.

Tony saw Coulson wince and rub his temples "Can I help you Thor?" he asked politely.

Tony had to give him points for putting up with Thor, he was Tony Stark and he had trouble.

"Why was I not informed of my brother's presence in New of York?" Thor asked curiously.

Tony's head was not the only ones to get whiplash as they stared at Thor in shock.

Coulson jumped to his feet "Loki is back?" he demanded.

Tony could have laughed at Thor's confused face.

"Loki is still on Asgard" Thor said confused "I was speaking of my youngest brother".

Tony blinked, Thor had another brother?

"Which brother was that?" Coulson asked concerned.

Tony grinned, it seemed that Agent had no idea either, that made him feel better.

Thor looked confused "Lanaceas" he said hopefully.

Tony frowned "Who?" he asked.

"Lanaceas" Thor repeated slowly.

"JARVIS" Tony called "What is a Lanaceas?"

"Lanaceas is the Nordic Spirit Prince of Animals Sir" JARVIS replied.

Thor nodded in agreement "He is third in line for the throne of Asgard" he said "Although he is no Spirit".

"Lanaceas is listed as a Nordic Spirit who dwelled in the Forest of Andeasun" JARVIS corrected.

Thor frowned and blinked in confusion "He did dwell there when on Midgard. My brother didn't spend much time around Midgardians" he explained "He preferred the company of animals".

Tony snickered "He prefers animals does he?"

"So people didn't know he was a god?" Coulson asked glaring at Tony.

Thor shook his head "He was not worshiped by humans, but by animals".

Tony looked at the huge TV dominating the wall "JARVIS, search for pictures of this Lanaceas dude" he ordered.

They looked to the screen as several images came up.

"There!" Thor exclaimed striding forward and pointing to a picture.

JARVIS enlarged it and Tony whistled as he saw the picture properly.

"Ah" Thor said loudly "That is an image of our infamous Battle of Andeasun" he said with a grin.

"What happened?" Coulson asked as he studied the picture.

Lanaceas sat on a large throne, his leg hanging over the arm of the throne. His long hair reached down to his shoulders. He wore little armour, just a pair of tight leggings and a strap across his chest. Two large tigers lounged at his feet while a snake was wound around his arm. Two big birds were perched on the head of the throne.

Tony snickered as he caught sight of the tiger's ears and tail he had as Lanaceas held another snake he was looking at.

"My brother got annoyed at my hunting in his sacred forest. So he sat on my throne waiting for me to return, frightening the locals. When I arrived he threatened me, and being young and foolish I attacked him. He used his power over animals to defeat me in battle" Thor explained.

JARVIS flicked to another picture, this one of presumably Thor being held to the ground by a large tiger with similar markings to Lanaceas' armour who was holding a long dagger to Thor's throat with its tail.

"And this Lanaceas is in New York you say?" Coulson asked curiously.

Thor nodded enthusiastically "Indeed" he announced "I was very shocked to feel his presence again, I had to go back again to make sure it was him".

Tony narrowed his eyes at Coulson as he asked "You went to the zoo again today right?"

Thor nodded "Indeed Son of Coul" he confirmed before his eyes widened "You must swear you will not say anything Son of Coul" Thor demanded "My Brother has been living here since his exile, and no one knows of his heritage. He is happy and I will not allow you to ruin it".

Tony's eyes narrowed even further as the Agent nodded "Of course, but we will want to watch him" he claimed.

Thor shook his head "I shall not tell you any more about him" he declared.

Coulson nodded "Very well Thor, do not let me keep you from your day. I have work to do" he said before standing and leaving the room quickly as he pulled out his phone.

"Thor" Tony said, angry at SHIELD for always interfering "Would Lanaceas do anything if SHIELD found him".

Thor blinked at him before smirking "I am not stupid Man of Iron" he said softly "I am aware of what the Son of Coul plans. Fear not, my Brother is a hunter, he will not be found unless he wants to be".

"But SHIELD is powerful" Tony warned him "They will find him".

Thor nodded "Then he will kill everyone who dares invade his sanctum" he declared "None entered the Andeasun Sanctum without his say so. Even Odin did not enter till his exile".

Tony nodded before turning back to the image on the screen.

"JARVIS, switch back to the first picture again" he instructed glaring at the picture that appeared.

"I swear I've seen him before" he muttered, not noticing Thor's knowing look "JARVIS, bring up some other pictures of Lanaceas".

"He likes tigers doesn't he?" Tony asked Thor noticing the continued motif of tigers.

Thor nodded "Those tigers were his favoured companions" he explained "They travelled over half of Midgard to reach his side. The bigger one was named Zerus and the smaller one was named Arpono" he told Tony.

Tony frowned, those names sounding familiar.

"Say those names again Thor" he ordered "But faster".

Thor blinked at him before saying the names again.

"Again" Tony demanded.

Thor repeated himself.

"FUCK!" Tony shouted standing "Zeus and Apollo".

Thor nodded "That is what I said" he agreed.

Tony shook his head "Zeus and Apollo are two tigers at the New York Zoo" he explained.

Tony froze paling "Zeus and Apollo are two tigers at New York Zoo, and are Lance's favourite tigers" he said slowly "Lanaceas of Andeasun, Lance Anderson" Tony stared at Thor in horror.

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_**Lance Anderson/Lanaceas Odinson; Zoologist, Third in line for the throne of Asgard.**_

"I know Dear One" Lance said to Zeus as he growled.

"Thor is not the same person he once was" Lance pointed out "The arrogance is no longer what colours his eyes".

He sighed sadly as Apollo nudged at his hand.

"It was nice to see him again" Lance admitted as he scratched behind Apollo's ears "He was always my favourite brother".

Zeus snorted making Lance grin "He was a great scape goat?" he asked innocently "Why I never noticed".

Apollo shook his head huffing as he leaned against Lance's side.

Lance nodded looking at the sky "I would love to go home too" he said softly "T'is been too long since I stepped foot in Asgard's hallowed halls.

Lance chuckled as Zeus exhaled deeply "Of course you miss the ale you drunkard" he said with a laugh.

Lance looked at Apollo "I don't know if I would stay there if I could" he admitted "I would stay for a while of course, catch up with everyone. But my life is here, with you two at the zoo".

Zeus let out a strangled mew making Lance frown at him "I don't think so" he said hesitantly "People change, and I'm too mature now to fall for him again".

Apollo scoffed at that making Lance grin "Well I'm more mature than I was" he argued.

Apollo's eyebrow rose making Lance pout.

"Just a little bit" Lance whined.

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**It may seem a little rushed. But that's the plan**


	5. Chapter 5

_**I don't own Avengers, I only own my OC and any myths I make up involving him.**_

_**Slash. Language. Violence.**_

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_**Lance Anderson/Lanaceas Odinson; Zoologist, Third in line for the throne of Asgard.**_

"Mortals" Lance muttered as he watched the SHIELD agents wander the Zoo.

"You say something Lance?" Stephan asked him.

Lance looked over his shoulder at Stephan who walked over to join him at the window.

"Yeah" he admitted "Morons".

Stephan snorted "Their government, what did you expect?" he asked.

"Well personally I didn't wake up this morning expecting the government to shut down the zoo because there were magic animals here" Lance pointed out dryly.

Stephan snorted again nodding looking over as his sister was escorted back into the room.

"Anderson, Lance" one of the agents called.

Lance rolled his eyes "This should be fun" he muttered as he turned to follow the agent out the door.

He smirked as he walked into the main office eyeing the balding man sitting behind the desk with a file open in front of him.

"You know, the last two times I was in here I got a promotion" Lance said casually as he took a seat "Feel up to pulling some strings and continuing the pattern?" he asked the agent.

"My name is Phil Coulson" the agent introduced looking bored "I'm here to ask you some questions".

"And I'm Lance Anderson" Lance said dully "And I'm here because your agents are armed".

Lance raised his eyebrow as Coulson sent him a disappointed look.

"Very well Mr Anderson, how long have you been on planet Earth?" Coulson asked him bluntly.

"28 years, nearly 29" Lance answered "Technically I guess an argument could be made for 29 nearly 30 years, if you're including when I was in the womb".

Coulson blinked at him before eyeing my file "Our file says your 29" he pointed out.

Lance shrugged "The Orphanage had no idea when I was actually born, so they picked a random year. Can you blame me for clinging to my youth, after all, they gave me a couple of years leeway".

Coulson nodded in agreement at that "And you were born where?" he inquired.

He shrugged again "As far as I know in a hospital" he replied.

"And what about your habit of talking to the animals?" Coulson suddenly asked.

Lance grinned at him "I'm a single man reaching his thirties. I also have a social disorder, I talk to the animals because they don't talk back. Also animals are proven to like someone who talks to them more often" he claimed.

"Yes" Coulson said slowly "I see you took animal psychology, top of your class" he agreed making Lance nod.

"I tried my best, it was easy when I had no distractions" Lance said modestly.

"You mean no friends?" Coulson corrected.

Lance blinked at him "That's what I said" he pointed out.

Coulson eyed him before shaking his head and popping open the briefcase beside him and withdrawing a picture.

"Do you know who this is?" he asked Lance handing him the picture.

"Thor" Lance answered, eyeing the picture "He looks different when he's not smashing alien bugs, but I recognise the picture from the TV".

Coulson nodded to him "What can you tell me about him?" he asked.

He shrugged "I don't know much about Norse Mythology" he admitted "God of Thunder, Son of Odin. Brother of the Horned One".

"Horned One?" Coulson asked amused "I usually hear people call him either 'Reindeer games' or 'that crazy bastard'".

"Reindeer games" Lance said slowly rolling the word around his mouth "I like that one".

Coulson nodded "You ever meet him?" he asked.

Lance raised his eyebrow at him "Thankfully no, from what I understand he was trying to invade Earth, and I rather enjoy my life" he replied.

Coulson shook his head and waved his hand "I meant Thor" he corrected.

Lance nodded "He's down in the Ape exhibit" he admitted "Looks remarkably similar to the picture" he said gesturing with it "Maybe he has a double life".

Coulson eyed him annoyed "What about him?" he asked offering him another picture.

Lance grinned at the picture of Tony Stark "One of the best shags I've had in a long time" he said happily his eyes glazing over "Definitely top 5 material".

Coulson cleared his throat drawing Lance from his memories.

"And have you ever met this person?" he asked handing over a third picture.

Lance blinked at the picture before squinting at it.

"Shit" he said breathlessly "He looks like he could be my twin".

"His name was Lance" Coulson explained.

Lance's eyebrows rose "I guess I'm named after my father" he said slowly.

Coulson shook his head at him "I guess you are, his name was Lance Anderson" he clarified "He worked in Britain 29 years ago, as a Zoo keeper".

Lance lowered the picture and stared at Coulson "Then I guess I got more than my name from him" he said softly "I'm also a fan of one night stands and animals".

"I think we are past this Mr Anderson" Coulson said firmly "You'll need to come in with us, my boss is interested in you".

Lance chuckled throwing the picture onto the desk "I'm afraid I don't know what you mean Agent Coulson" he said with a smirk.

"I think you do Lanaceas" Coulson said seriously.

Lance sighed "It's been awhile since I've heard that name" he admitted with a soft smile.

"Please follow me" Coulson said standing "If you behave we may allow Thor to visit you".

Lance chuckled again, startling Coulson as the dark tone to it.

"I don't think so Phillip" Lance said shaking his head "I've no intention of coming quietly".

"We have your friends just down the room surrounded by armed guards" Coulson said smoothly "I'm sure there won't be any problems".

Lance's eyebrow shot up "What armed guards?" he asked innocently "Surely not the ones being eaten alive".

Coulson's eyes widened and he darted to the door and pulled it open.

He stumbled back as he caught side of the carnage outside the office.

He spun around to face Lance, his gun drawn.

Lance smiled at him before his skin started rippling.

"Tell your boss that I will destroy this city if he doesn't leave me alone" Lance said, his voice transforming into a hiss as his arms and legs fused to his body.

Coulson stumbled back again as the giant snake fell forward and slithered towards him.

Lance gave a mental smirk as he forced himself to fit through the office door before he slithered down the hallway quickly.

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_**Tony Stark; Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist.**_

"What's going on?" Tony asked as he received the order to suit up.

Fury glared at Thor "Another of Thor's brothers has gone on a rampage" he spat out.

Thor shrugged "You corner an animal and it will attack" he said sagely "You back off and he'll stand down".

Fury's one-eyed glare darkened even further "We cannot allow such a dangerous individual to remain free" he said calmly.

Thor chuckled "My brother has been on Midgard for over 300 years" he said "He's left you alone since he arrived here, he has never wanted anything to do with humans".

"That is irrelevant" Fury spat out "He attacked and killed an entire squadron of SHIELD troops, leaving only Coulson alive to deliver a warning".

"Then I suggest you listen to that warning" Tony pointed out "If what Thor says is correct then he won't want to work for SHIELD, no matter what choices he has".

"And from what Phil's report says he cornered him" Natasha announced from where she was reading the report "A huge no-no when dealing with animals".

"Hear that Fury?" Tony asked smugly "If you want to go to war with this guy then go ahead" Tony turned and threw himself back onto his couch "But Stark Industries are staying out of this".

"The All-Father may have exiled Lanaceas" Thor said "But declaring war against him is declaring war against Asgard".

Fury glared at them then at Natasha and Clint as they sat down on the couch ignoring him.

"What are his crimes Sir?" Tony heard Steve asked.

"He killed an entire squadron of SHIELD soldiers" Fury repeated.

Tony felt pride swell up inside him as Steve raised his eyebrows "So his only crime is defending the lives of the people you held hostage in your attempt to kidnap him?" he asked unimpressed "I'm sorry Sir, but as you know I hate bullies, I refuse to work for them as well".

Tony grinned at Steve as he moved over and sat down beside him, Steve's faint smile back didn't deter him at all.

"Now if you don't mind Fury, get the hell off of my property" Tony ordered still grinning.

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	6. Chapter 6

_**I don't own Avengers, I only own my OC and any myths I make up involving him.**_

_**Slash. Language. Violence.**_

**Sorry about the wait, I know how I want to write the story but I wasn't sure about HOW to write it. It's mainly going to be me playing around with a style I'm interested in trying so please be patient and let me know if you don't like it (Next chapter, this isn't it)**

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_**Tony Stark; Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist.**_

Tony jumped slightly as Bruce took a seat at the bar beside him.

"You finally get tired of being watched too?" Tony asked annoyed.

Bruce rolled his eyes "Down the right side of the bar, black suit and glasses, they're not even trying" he said amused.

Tony looked over and sure enough there were two men in the full Men in Black get-up.

He snorted "Idiots" he muttered.

Bruce nodded "So you're really going to stay out of this then?" he asked curiously.

Tony sighed and nodded "SHIELD shouldn't be doing this" he admitted "Lance has lived on this planet for over 300 years according to Thor, and according to the news the Chitauri avoided the Zoo within an entire two block radius, so if anything he's done more good than harm".

"No he hasn't" Bruce argued shaking his head "He's a cruel heartless bastard" he waved down a bartender ordering some shots "Or at least that's what Thor says. He says 'War' isn't the correct word 'Slaughter' is".

Tony stared at Bruce in shock, unable to link Slaughter to the happy smiling Lance.

His eyebrows rose when the bartender set down a drink in front of Bruce "Whoa, are you sure you want to drink that?" Tony asked slowly "That's strong, and what if you lose control?"

Bruce snorted "I can't get drunk" he claimed "I've been drinking for so long that I'm now immune to that side effect".

Tony's eyes narrowed "How long exactly?" he asked.

Bruce shrugged "Over 600 years or so" he admitted looking over to Tony, dark red eyes locking onto brown ones.

"Hello again Tony" not-Bruce said with a smirk that he hoped he would never see on Bruce's face again "Can I just congratulate you for being one of the only men on this planet that makes me want to go back for more?"

Tony stared in shock as red eyes slowly bleed into blue "Lance" he gasped out as he caught onto what not-Bruce was saying.

Lance nodded with a smirk "Don't worry, Bruce is still at the tower" he assured him "But I couldn't get near you with Mr Agent over there".

"Why did you want to get near me?" Tony asked nervously.

Lance threw him a lopsided grin "I want Round Three" he said bluntly his eyes roaming over Tony's body.

Tony shuddered at the look on Bruce's face "I've never thought of Bruce that way sorry" he blurted trying to find a reason to leave.

Lance shrugged "Good, I personally find it an invasion of privacy to even take a Human's form" he admitted "But I needed to get close to you, I'll shift back the moment we get somewhere alone".

Strangely mollified by Lance's explanation Tony smiled at him "I can't get you out of my mind" he admitted.

Lance smirked at him happily "Same here" he said slowly "Now how about I show you exactly how good I am in bed?" he offered.

Tony's eyebrows rose "You mean the first two weren't your best?" he asked teasingly.

Lance rolled his eyes "You've never had sex till you've done it with someone who can shapeshift" he claimed before leaning in to whisper in Tony's ear "I can touch my toes with my tongue while bending over backwards" he said quietly "Imagine flexibility like that under the covers".

Tony shivered as his thoughts took a completely dirty turn "Better yet" he gasped out looking into Lance's lust blown eyes "Why don't you show me?"

Lance just grinned at him as he threw some notes on the bar and downed his drink in one.

"Your hotel or mine?" he asked.

* * *

"Well crap" Tony swore as he dropped his phone back onto the bedside table.

Lance's head lifted up from the pillow to look at him curiously.

Tony winced as he looked at Tony "SHIELD are panicking" he explained "They have three Asgardians going wild on them".

Lance frowned "Three?" he asked slowly.

Tony nodded "First there is you" he said "Then Thor is beating up the Agents they send to tail him" he counted off on his fingers.

Tony grimaced looking at Lance cautiously "And third" he began before sighing "Loki escaped" he admitted.

He winced as Lance's face turned murderous instantly "Loki escaped?" he snarled before jumping from the bed pacing angrily.

Tony nodded slowly "He tricked his guards and fled to Earth, he's blocking his signal from the Asgardians so they can't find him" he explained before narrowing his eyes at Lance "They can't find you for that matter either" he added curiously.

Lance shrugged still furious "I learned how to block my signal from Loki when I was 16" he admitted "And if SHIELD fucks off then they will only have one Asgardian" he pointed out.

Tony jumped as Lance's cell went off.

"Lance" the Asgardian answered curtly as he grabbed his phone from beside Tony's.

Tony shrunk in on himself slightly as he watched Lance's face grow darker and darker.

"Get to my Temple" Lance ordered "Now, the guardians will protect you".

"Lance?" Tony asked cautiously as Lance snapped the phone shut.

Lance snarled and threw a chair across the room before spinning to grab Tony's arms.

Tony flinched but was shocked to find Lance wasn't hurting him, just holding tightly.

"SHIELD has decided between War and Slaughter" Lance said darkly "They hunted down and killed Elise and Vicky" he explained "They are directly descended from some of my only Midgardian priests, I've been staying with their family for centuries now. That was Max, the youngest".

Tony's eyes widened as Lance explained "They just killed them?" he asked breathlessly.

Lance shook his head "They tried to abduct them" he admitted "But when I was younger I blessed their blood, they fought back and were killed".

"You blessed them?" Tony asked shocked.

Lance smirked darkly "Shapeshifters" he admitted "Their entire line have been able to change into Tigers at will".

Tony sighed and pulled himself away from Lance, who to his shock let him go instantly.

"I've got to get back to the Tower" Tony decided as he searched around for his clothes "See what I can do from my side".

Lance reached out and caught his arm as he turned away.

"Tony, can you ensure your friends and family move into the Tower?" Lance asked slowly "I can't guarantee their survival if they don't".

Tony stared at the Asgardian before nodding finally "I'll see what I can do" he confirmed "What are you planning?" he demanded.

Lance glared at the door to the hotel "If they want a War, then let's see how they respond when the very planet rises up against them" he snarled.

Tony swallowed dryly as he felt the power swirling around Lance "I'm glad I'm on your side" he muttered earning only a crazy grin from Lance.

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	7. Chapter 7

**_I don't own Avengers, I only own my OC and any myths I make up involving him.  
Slash. Language. Violence._**

**To my Fan-Guest: I thought you had stopped reading. NEVER think I don't appreciate you though *Hugs and Cookies***

**Also this story may delve into the realms of a Crackfic every now and then. Hopefully not too much but I've got several ideas that aren't leaving my mind which might seem a little (rather) silly.**

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_**Tony Stark; Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist.**_

"Stark! Get your suit on!" Fury snapped glaring at the billionaire.

Tony raised his eyebrow at Fury leaning back further into the couch silently.

Fury sighed as he saw none of the Avengers were moving "This isn't about Lanaceas" he snarled "Loki is on Earth" he exclaimed.

Tony's eyes widened and he leapt to his feet "Now that I can do" he agreed as the others ran from the room.

One button on his Ironman Wristband later and he was suited up ready to take Loki out.

"Where is he?" he asked curiously wondering idly if he should find a way to let Lance know that his brother was on Earth.

"The Bank of Manhattan" Fury said coldly "Two blocks from here".

Tony nodded and walked straight to the French doors opening it and stepping out as the other Avengers started returning.

Tony activated his repulsors and took off as JARVIS spoke in his ear reporting what was happening at the bank.

He flew through the air lightly hearing the whirring sound that was Thor spinning his hammer.

Flying around the building as the suit locked onto one of the robbers he kept circling the building as the other Avengers arrived and gave the battle plan. As Steve gave the word he aimed for the single sentry outside and dove in.

Blasting the man with his repulsors he quickly entered the bank, Tony's jaw dropped as he took note of how many armed people there were in the bank. Gulping as they turned their weapons on the team who had burst in behind him, he only half heard Steve's shouted order before he sprang into battle.

Before they could reach the mercenaries Tony found himself floating off the ground un-able to move.

His eyes widened as he heard a familiar dark chuckle moments before Loki stepped into his line of sight.

"You're late" Loki said with a smug smirk as he stepped towards them "I was expecting you earlier".

"Brother!" Thor roared "Release me from this trickery!"

Tony rolled his eyes at the same time as Loki did, which made him feel violated.

"Magic, my dear brother, Magic" Loki scolded with an obvious shake of his head, as if he was speaking to a child.

Not too far off though, looking at Thor thought Tony.

"And I'm afraid I cannot release you" Loki continued with an innocent shrug of his shoulders. As Loki's face darkened Tony noticed that the mercenaries were still carting off money. "I swore I would get revenge _Brother_" Loki snarled grinning evilly "And this? This is but a stepping stone on the road to your humiliation".

Tony couldn't resist rolling his eyes again at Loki's obviously practiced speech.

The sounds of the floor rumbling and men screaming drew the Avengers plus Loki's attention to the halls leading to the back of the bank.

As the rumbling got louder the sound of gunfire joined it making Loki frown as he turned to face where the sounds were emitting from.

Tony's jaw dropped as the black-clad mercenaries came running from the corridors.

Followed by a herd of stampeding rhinos.

Rhinos, in the Bank of Manhattan.

Fucking _Rhinos_ were stampeding through the Bank of Manhattan.

Tony blinked, unable to even come up with a suitable sarcastic remark to express his displeasure at the situation.

Thankfully for him, because a situation like this _always_ needs someone to be generally odd, it was Natasha who couldn't contain herself as she burst into giggles from where she was floating somewhere between Thor and the Hulk.

Although noted Tony, the incredulous look on Loki's face _was_ pretty funny, he would have to get JARVIS to frame it for him.

Tony fell to the floor with a loud clunk as Loki's magic failed.

Quickly jumping to his feet he heard Loki making a joking sound as he stared pale at the corridor his men and the rhinos had come through.

Standing there was Lance, surrounded by a lot of rather strange white fluffy animals.

Mentally comparing Lance and Loki, Tony noticed that Lance looked more powerful. Loki may have had a powerful magical presence surrounding him making him look dangerous and powerful, Lance was standing there almost casually with a look on his face promising a slow death, his very body looking like he was in charge and was willing to prove it.

"By Valhalla's Haunted Halls" Tony heard Thor gasp out quietly.

As Lance stepped forward his horde of animals following him Loki quickly stumbled back his eyes locked onto them.

"Hello again Loki" Lance's quiet voice cut through the noise of the bank "Its been so long since we've seen each other hasn't it now brother? I just _had_ to get you a gift" he said his eyes glinting with amusement

"Don't look so scared Loki" Lance scolded as Loki stepped backwards again.

Tony decided then that Loki's face when afraid was definitely being framed and placed next to the Stupefied-Loki picture.

"I'm sure you'll love my gift, after all, Keith has just been dying to see you again. He does love you so" Lance added with a grin as he stepped to the side allowing another of the creatures to step forward, this one with a large black spot over its glowing red eyes.

Tony blinked in shock as Loki actually whimpered.

An evil grin formed on Lance's face. Tony was glad that his helmet meant his teammates couldn't see his blush as they stared at him when he whimpered as well.

Lance leaned in his hand cupping to the creature's ear.

In a voice that echoed through the bank eerily Lance said quite clearly "Attack my Demon Llamas".

Tony's jaw dropped once more as Loki whimpered again as the horde of red-eyed llamas surged towards him, the one named 'Keith' leading the charge.

Loki disappeared in a flash of green light making the demon llamas slow to a stop and turn to look back at Lance.

"Is SHIELD still hunting me?" Lance's voice echoed again.

Tony nodded jerkily, noticing that Thor was doing the same. Lance grimaced, his nose scrunching up in a way that made Tony smile softly.

"Alright my Demon Llamas" Lance exclaimed clapping his hands then rubbing them together "It's your time to rain mischief down upon the mortals!" he ordered.

Tony and the other Avengers stood frozen as Lance strolled towards the bank entrance the demon llamas running up to join him.

"Now remember minions, bite but don't chew" Lance ordered as he kicked the bank doors open grinning at the SHIELD agents who were waiting outside as they arrested the mercenaries and tried to calm the rhinos.

"And if you see Fury kick him for me, a lot" Lance added as the demon llamas burst from the bank and spread out onto the streets, knocking down the agents calming the rhinos.

"You guys can join in too! Rhinos on Broadway, I've so got to see that" Lance called to the rhinos before nodding once and disappearing in a swirl of multi-coloured lights as the rhinos started to stampede down the street.

"I'm pretty sure it's not in our job description to hunt down rhinos and llamas" Clint asked slowly cutting through the Avenger's silence "Demonic llamas or not".

* * *

Tony's eyes snapped open as the door to his bathroom hissed closed.

He lay stiffly in his bed as he heard someone moving around his bedroom.

He was about to call for his suit when his bed shifted as someone hopped in.

A pair of very familiar arms wound around his waist pulling him closer.

"Demon Llamas?" Tony asked amused as he rested his head on Lance's shoulder not questioning how or why the Asgardian had appeared in his bedroom during the night

"They are very well trained" Lance said proudly.

Tony shook his head "Demon Llamas?" he asked again incredulously.

Lance shifted, his hand squeezing his hip slightly "I was drunk" he admitted "And after Keith bit Loki I couldn't resist making an army of them".

Tony snorted as he felt himself drifting off "Explains why Loki was afraid then" he muttered.

"Keith was in bed next to Loki the next morning" Lance said softly "Loki never forgot waking up hung over next to an evil llama who has made it his life's ambition to bit any and all of Loki's extremities" he explained.

Tony winced "All of them?" he asked feeling some sympathy for Loki.

"All of them" Lance said with a chuckle "Loki stopped sleeping naked after that morning"


	8. Chapter 8

_I don't own Avengers, I only own my OC and any myths I make up involving him.  
Warnings: Slash. Language. Violence.  
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_**Tony Stark; Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist.**_

It was JARVIS' voice that woke Tony up the next morning.

"SIR! Ah good Master Stark, you are awake" the AI said pleasantly as Tony opened his eyes tired "Sir, may I point out that there is a known fugitive in your bed?" the AI asked.

Tony's eyes snapped back open in alarm from where they had drifted shut.

It took him a moment to recognise the arms wrapped around him and the chest pressed against his back.

Sighing with relief he relaxed back against Lance.

"Sir?" his AI spoke again "Lord Thor is demanding you open the door. He wishes to speak to his brother".

"His brother wishes to sleep in" Lance muttered from behind Tony "His brothers consort can go though" he added before pushing Tony from the bed making him yelp as he hit the floor.

Tony stood up glaring at Lance before smirking and turning and walking towards the bedroom door. "Are you really wearing silk boxers?" Lance's voice asked sleepily.

Tony ignored the Asgardian as he marched from the room and approached his suite's door.

Throwing the door open he locked eyes on Thor whose fist was raised to knock, stepping to the side he gestured for Thor to enter. "He wants you to jump on him like you used to do when you were younger" he lied unrepentantly.

Thor's face lit up faster than Natasha's when told she can kill something as he grinned as raced towards Tony's bedroom.

Tony managed to reach his door in time to see Thor leaping and landing on Lance, whose head was under the pillow.

He laughed as Thor wrestled the shocked flailing Lance down and held him under the sheets, stopping the younger Asgardian from seeing him.

"It's been so long since I've been woken up like that" the Lance shaped lump in the bed said before chuckling "So long in fact that I won't kill you for waking me up dear brother"

Thor's grin grew until Tony was sure it hurt.

"I think you owe me" Thor boomed out "You didn't visit me" he explained hurt.

Lance sat up as Thor rolled off him.

Glaring at Thor he shrugged "I was going to stay for breakfast" he claimed "I just wanted to stay with Tony for the night".

Thor narrowed his eyes at Lance before turning to eye Tony "What are you intentions towards my brother?" he demanded making Tony splutter.

"Lord Lanaceas referred to Master Stark as his 'consort'" JARVIS interrupted hopefully.

Thor beamed at Tony "This is great news brother!" he rumbled looking back at Lance "I believe you will enjoy the Midgardian thing called 'dating', from what the good Doctor has spoken of they are similar".

Lance groaned falling back to the bed

* * *

**Lance Anderson/Lanaceas Odinson; Zoologist, Third in line for the throne of Asgard.**

"Sir? Director Fury is here" JARVIS said as they were gathered around the kitchen laughing.

Natasha and Clint shot Lance apologetic looks that he just brushed off.

Fury burst into the room his handgun aiming at Lance as he was followed in by multiple SHIELD agents with guns.

"Stark" Fury snapped "You are harbouring a fugitive, hand him over immediately".

"I'm not harbouring him Fury" Tony refused cheerfully "He just showed up last night".

"Last night?" Clint repeated his eyebrows waggling.

"We didn't have sex" Tony denied his chin raised defiantly "We are two adults in a serious relationship, not everything is about sex" he pointed out.

"We were too tired" Lance corrected "We just slept".

Clint sniggered as Tony sent Lance a glare which he just ignored.

"Also like Tony said he's not harbouring me, I wouldn't leave even if he asked me to" Lance added pointing his fork at Fury.

"There are very strict laws about these things Tony" Fury said darkly "Hand him over now".

"I can't, I've been injured" Tony exclaimed dramatically.

"OW!" he yelped as Lance stabbed him in the arm with his fork "What was that for?" he whined.

"I assumed you don't want to be arresting for lying" Lance explained "Now you're injured".

Tony glared at him while Natasha turned to her boss "No one here is harbouring a fugitive" she snapped annoyed "We were eating breakfast" she corrected innocently.

"Yeah" Clint cut in "Lance kidnapped us and is making us share a meal as a family".

Natasha snorted as she raised her fork to her mouth "And he makes really good pancakes" she said around a mouthful.

Lance sighed and set his empty plate down "Well that's me done" he said sadly "I hope you've all enjoyed your kidnapping".

Lance leaned forward and kissed Tony on the cheek before vanishing in a multitude of colours.

* * *

_**Tony Stark; Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist.**_

Tony turned to glare at Fury after Lance teleported out.

"Now listen here Fury" he snapped "You're not in charge here, and if you don't leave Lance alone he'll destroy this city until you do".

Fury narrowed his _eye_ at Tony "Is that so?" he asked dangerously.

Bruce raised his eyebrow at the man "You received our reports on the robbery yesterday" he pointed out "Lance summoned a herd of rhinos to chase out the mercenaries and then set an army of Demon Llamas on Loki. Imagine what he could do to this city if he wanted to".

Tony nodded grinning at the doctor in thanks for his support "You can go now Fury" he said coldly "And your presence on my property is no longer welcomed".

* * *

**Lance Anderson/Lanaceas Odinson; Zoologist, Third in line for the throne of Asgard.**

Lance appeared with a swirl of coloured lights.

He stepped to the edge of the roof and looked down. "Why are you here?" he asked curiously.

Loki glared at him "I'm here to make this planet mine" he snapped.

Lance snarled at the other Asgardian making him raise his hands as if to ward off an attack.

"This planet is _mine_" Lance growled "Give up your quest".

"I am the rightful King" Loki begun only to cut himself off as he stumbled backwards when Lance leapt forward.

Lance easily swept Loki's feet out and pounced on him holding him to the ground.

"This planet is mine" Lance snarled out again.

Loki glared at him "And the Avengers?" the demi-god spat out.

Lance grinned "I don't care" he admitted "I'm only interested in Tony".

A light turned on in Loki's eyes.

"But since Tony cares for the others you cannot have them either" Lance quickly added making the light flare.

"You are nothing but an animal" Loki sneered at him "Your place is beneath me".

Lance snorted and stood letting Loki go.

"This planet is mine" he said for the third time "And if I must fight to protect it then so be it".

Loki leapt to his feet "You will protect them while they do hunt you down?" he said curiously.

Lance shrugged moving back towards Loki "SHIELD is arrogant and over-confident in their task to protect this planet from the likes of you. Easy for me to crush and bring back under my control. Like a kid really, or like you" he said slowly stalking Loki across the roof.

"I won't back down" Loki argued.

He turned and walked back to the edge of the roof "Then you will die" he said simply before stepping from the roof and falling over the edge.


End file.
